:In the Air:

I never thought I’d write this. But some things do come your way unplanned, they feel a bit uncanny in the beginning, and eventually fit in your life, just like a correct piece in the jigsaw puzzle.
Remember that time from school, when we were taught about adolescence? When there were classes especially scheduled to counsel us on the so-called ‘Difficulties of life’. We were told there will be a point in your life, and which will come very soon, when you will feel butterflies in your stomach when somebody gives you a compliment. Or when somebody will make you feel as if he/she is the only person who cares the most about you in the complete school. Those classes were merely to make us aware of the changes that our body and mind will experience, and to assure us that there was nothing wrong in those changes, as long as they did no harm to us. There were also various TV series which made us aware of the struggle and changes.
But the real struggle began when they started harming us and we didn’t realize. Nobody told us how, when and in which form will those sweet little things demand the price for the changes they brought in us, as a person. All of us at some point of time have gone through this struggle. For some, the struggle started in school itself when that person who gave you butterflies, didn’t even know you existed in school. For some, the struggle was to get answers from the past. For some, the struggle was to manage studies, changes and extra dose from parents all at the same time.

Some didn’t want to get involved in the drama at all by learning from their friends’ mistakes and ended up struggling after school. In grad college, whatever tiny bit of ‘Gyan’ they could gather in those extra classes on ‘Adolescence’, even that faded away and the struggle became more tedious. Here it was not only about butterflies, it was about much more.
The tender things and changes that we experienced in school, got converted into such big changes that the ones struggling with them had no idea what were they dealing with. They were only trying to make their ‘Hearts’ win over ‘Mind’. Little did they realize that whatever was happening will demand a price in the future. By getting admitted into colleges, we thought we didn’t need any help or guidance on what to do with our lives, yet, each and every hang out with our friends, had sentences like ‘What am I doing here?’ ‘Why did I even opt for Science in the first place.’ ‘I want to go the US for masters.’ ‘After graduation, MBA from a good B-school and I’ll be an investment banker’. (Thinking about Hrithik Roshan from ZNMD). All these statements proved how badly did we all need guidance and how far were we from becoming what were dreaming of.

There was always this slag when our parents said something, we disagreed and thought they didn’t know anything. The calendar kept turning its flaps, and we got deeper into the swamp of struggle. This struggle was not only about the girlfriends or boyfriends, but about deeper things (which we thought were deep); like getting over heartbreaks, making things work, covering all the insecurities, etc. Somewhere,  between those extra counselling classes and our graduation, we somehow managed to get ourselves out of the swamp, only to face a bigger muddle in the less novice and naive world.

This just doesn’t seem to end, does it? We need to accept that struggle is not only in finding people, it is in making them stay, and that pays-off all the debts, all the prices of those little things that happened to us in adolescence. All of us know, days are going to change quite fast, or may be days would remain the same, bringing out the thoughts that were never confronted. So let us forget the cliche ‘I-don’t-want-to-lose-you-ever’ and grow up with ‘Let’s-face-it’!

Start is when you Do it!

So when do you think is really the right time to start something? Or even put better, when is right time to not think about the consequences and just do what you have wished for, or what you have been told by your closed ones to do, but we just didn’t because we were busy trying to gain perfection in things that caught the crowd’s attention, or maybe some MNCs’ attention. But these things never really got to us completely. We tried and Failed. We re-tried and Failed. Watched some motivational videos about the people who did these things, again tried and Failed. Gave ourselves some self-discipline, self-motivation, again tried and Failed. So where did we go wrong? We tried, tried and tried, but Failed, Failed and Failed. Not that we didn’t give inputs, hell yes we did! Not that the blessings didn’t work, they always do, trust me. Not that people distracted us from things, well getting ourselves some self-discipline means we got stricter with our desires, right? Then where was the weak link? Or was there even a link? Too many questions, just one answer.

We never started! Never realized that these were things not meant for our perfection. Not meant for things we already do impeccably. After 22 years of our existence on this earth, we know how to read perfectly, how to write perfectly. But had we pushed ourselves for perfection in writing before we learnt how to speak, we could have neither written nor spoken at all! Direction is what led us here. It is, in fact,what leads everyone to the right place. We only need to figure out which way to take. It is exactly how we learn directions on the map. Know where North is, and you can figure out everything else very easily.

Similarly, we need to figure out the North of our lives in this map called “Where-is-my-place”. I never would have been able to figure out that I can do something constructive by twisting my words here and there, had it not been my closed ones who actually shook me and told me, “Get yourself together by words, girl!” And I wouldn’t have written this first blog at all, had it not been a guide, a friend who, after reading someone else’s blog yesterday, told me “Why don’t you write, I’d love to read!” I am not saying I have got my directions correct or I know the North of my life. At this point, I am at crossroads, but I know I have at least given it a kick-start.